Hobo Impresses Coaches with Team-Leading Speed

An unnamed, self-proclaimed 'hobo' joined the UW football team after a surprising turn of developments. The hobo, who is reluctant to reveal his name and identity, is an unknown commodity but impressed coaches while fleeing the practice facility. The derelict, who says he arrived in Montlake on Tuesday after catching a train from Yakima, was caught in the act of urinating on the Huskies practice field. Security guards were alerted to the situation by an alert coaching staff, and pursued the man into a chase around the massive, massive track that circles the field at Husky Stadium.

The coaches watched as the man circled the gigantic track, and were immediately impressed by his speed. Already extremely thin at Wide Receiver, with only one player on the roster who has ever caught a pass, coaches did not wait to find a way to recruit and sign him up as the team's newest starting Wide Receiver.

"We don't really know where he came from, although he is wearing a torn UNLV sweatshirt from what looks like the early 1990s, so maybe he's from Reno," one coach said. "We don't know if he's technically eligible to play college football... but that kind of thing has never slowed us down before."

But how are his skills as a wide receiver?

"We were impressed with his speed, but we wern't sure how his hands would be. But he told us he recently caught the Clap, so already he's got more catches than the rest of our squad."

Jim Lambright could not be reached for comment.

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Comments (2)

• Y-m-d H:i:s | alphacoug  - WR
  They lost Shaw too so they definitely need help at WR.

• Y-m-d H:i:s | Wideouts
  Shaw wasn't our number 1? but anyways. chris polk is gonna be aight. as we stole him from SC.

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